So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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