How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
