that's an acceptable place to lick
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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