I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Randomize
