So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I love having hate sex.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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