look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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