fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
