Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
