I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
