That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
