Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you have to choose: penises or morals?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
