there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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