When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
