Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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