Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
We need to get me chipped asap
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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