For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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