Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
