Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
