i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
