Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
