I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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