Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
