so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
