Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
