people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Randomize
