Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
where are my eyebrows?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
