if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize