Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
