i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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