A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
