one two three fourrrrnication!
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
