you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
