i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
