I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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