the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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