these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
