Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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