And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
