how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
