Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
