My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
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