Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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