All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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