Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
