is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
