i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
