Define "chronic" masturbator.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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