i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
she pinky promised me she was 18
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
