Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
