Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
