I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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