i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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